The past six weeks have been all about change.
Some of it has been about logistics. Finding my way around a new neighborhood. Exploring a new running path. Setting up new utility accounts and finally getting internet access at home (no thanks to AT&T who couldn't get its act together, so I went with another provider). Doing laundry in a much smaller washer and getting accustomed to the very annoying buzzer that signals the end of the dryer cycle. (Did I mention that I thought my new dryer had lint-removing fairies who magically whisked that stuff away, and that I almost had the building manager place a service call to fix a dryer that didn't work anymore, until I figured it out? You'd think I'd never done laundry before...)
Some of it has been about my behaviors. Learning how to sleep by myself again and be woken up by my cell phone alarm. Getting accustomed to coming home to an empty apartment after work. Making the time to write again when I would ordinarily have logged into my work e-mail instead at this time of the night. Sitting on the sofa and reading.
Some of it has been about how I feel. Not caring how dorky I look when I wear black running shoes with my dress pants for my mile-and-a-half walk to work. Not feeling like I need to be the "perfect" host when I entertain. Starting to get out from under the overwhelming crush of guilt. Trusting that it was the right thing to do, even though it was the most painful thing I have ever done - to me and to him.
But some things never change. Like my inability to have a freezer that is not filled. to. the. brim.
Yes, there is only one of me, but yet I possess this inherent inability to pass up a good sale at the grocery store. "Pork chops on sale? Why sure, I'll take four, even though I have four in the freezer already!" I'm so used to cooking for four (dinner for two, with leftovers for another meal) that I'm still doing it, although now I save one portion for another meal during the week, and then freeze two portions for another time. I've been pretty good about rotating through my freezer stock, so nothing's developed freezer burn (yet). So tonight I decided to reorganize the freezer, thinking I'd have room to fit more. Alas, no. All I have now is a better organized freezer. But still no extra room.
Guess I'm going to have to finish one of those cartons of soy ice cream. Sacrifices.